Unfortunately, I couldn’t go to Howard’s homecoming this year for various reasons (budget cuts.) Which put me in a very awkward place because I missed the love and familiarity of being on an HBCU’s campus. So, I finally committed going to SpelHouse’s homecoming and made a short drive from Florida to Atlanta. (This was dumb and my definition of short really needs some work.) The weekend was a lot of things but can be easily summed up by the phrase “LOL, girl I guess.” On my extremely caffeinated ride home, I was consumed by figuring out exactly where everything went wrong. While I don’t want to put all of my business out here, I will discuss two thoughts below.


  1. “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.”

Just because someone is a good person doesn’t mean they deserve a spot in your life. There are a lot of “good people with great intentions” that I don’t want to associate myself with. Often, it’s not because they did anything “wrong.” It also doesn’t mean that their “good person” should be questioned because I’m choosing not to associate myself with them anymore. Someone can be a “good person” and something in my spirit can tell me that they don’t belong in my life and I am completely in my right to remove them from it. This doesn’t require an explanation besides “we’re just not vibing/ it’s just not the right fit/ it’s none of your business.”


It’s important to point out that I keep putting “good” in quotations because what’s “good” to one person doesn’t automatically equate to “good” to me. Everybody isn’t for everybody and that’s one of the beautiful aspects of staying in your own lane. At any point in time, I am within my right to remove someone who I no longer connect with from my life. This doesn’t mean they’ll get the cold shoulder or I’ll start a campaign to smear their name either. It just is what it is.



  1. “Scam the day before it scams you.”

Here’s a theoretical breakdown of how I spent my time:

5%: I worried about things I had no control over

20%: I spent irritated at something that wasn’t worth it

15%: I was deeply wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forgot to live in the moment and enjoy the brief moment that I had with my friends

65%: I spent in dire need of water in caffeine because everything was so much at all times

It wasn’t until I was halfway through my “brisk” drive home that I realized that my weekend was largely underwhelming because I acted like a brat in need of a slight attitude adjustment. I could have had a better time if I didn’t let so many things get in the way of me doing hoodrat things with my friends. (This statement is extremely theoretical because there were numerous factors that played into the “girl, I guess” moments.) For example, my skin has been breaking out from stress and poor eating habits and while we were getting ready I spent 30 minutes talking to my friend about how disgusted I was with it. I really harped on myself despite being told that it wasn’t that bad. However, when I looked at the few pictures that I do have, you can hardly tell that my skin isn’t baby soft and perfect. I let the little things get to me all weekend.


The weekend was annoying and anyone who thinks that a SpelHouse homecoming is up to par with Howard’s is only lying to themselves. But, I’m sure if I had put a little more effort into it, I could have had better results. I just had to learn this lesson the hard way.


PS: All of this was documented on my Snapchat. Follow me @ODLyssatime!

cortney and alyssa at spelhouse MH hat