Recently-ish I lost one of my closet friends. I was devastated. I was calling him trying to figure out what happened only to get sent to voicemail, asking our mutual friends if they knew what was up, praying every night that God would mend our friendship and more. Like I’m always saying on Twitter, my life is/was in complete shambles. I was hurt.
I don’t understand why or how we fell off. I still have my suspicions about what happened, but I don’t have any closure on the situation and it’s very unlikely that I will ever get it. I still wonder about it sometimes but at this point I’ve accepted that it is what it is and the only logical adult thing to do is to move on. I’ve always heard the phrase “God brings people in your life for a reason and sometimes it’s only for a season.” That may not be the exact quote, but you know where I’m going with this. For whatever reason he was a seasonal friend. It’s unfortunate, but it’s life.
The one good thing about this is that I’ve become extremely conscious about how I am as a human. I think more about if I’m as loving as I wish my friends were to me. I think more about my words and how it may affect others. I’m trying to be a better person. I decided to grow from this situation and it’s been going well. I have a great group of people around me both virtually, because of distance, and in Jacksonville. I’m protective of my energy and of the people that I let in my space. I’m focused on my dreams and I’m enjoying every moment of this thing called life.
However, this weekend I got caught up heavy in my mind space. I started obsessing over the notion that because I fell out with my old friend that I wasn’t capable of being a great friend. I was freaking out because of my past “mistakes” and that wasn’t fair. I don’t know what happened, but I do know that I’ve grown a lot. I am not the person that I used to be. I talk to God more, I finally launched #ODStorytime, I got back in the gym (kinda,) and I made some major career moves. I’m a different person.
I’m saying all this to say that regardless of where you are in life it’s not fair to put yourself down over the past. Just because something happened doesn’t mean that it will continue to happen and it doesn’t mean that you are the source of all evil. Just because you lost a friend doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of being a great friend. You can take that and apply it to jobs, boys, makeup, or whatever you need to hear. You don’t have to let mistakes continuously define who you are. As long as you are trying to grow and glo’ from the past your future has no choice but to be magical.
If you have any tips for what to do when you lose a friend or how to grow and glo’ please leave them in the comments below!